The Three Systems in Compassion Focused Therapy
- dragonflytherapyma
- Aug 20
- 3 min read
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) is built around a simple but powerful idea: we all have three emotional systems that guide the way we respond to life. These are the threat system, the drive system, and the soothing system. Therapy isn’t about shutting one down or making another bigger—it’s about helping them work together in balance so we can build resilience and live more steadily.
Let’s break them down.
The Threat System: Our Survival Alarm
The threat system is where fight, flight, freeze and fold live. It’s automatic, fast, and designed to keep you alive.
Think about standing at a road crossing—your threat system is what makes you step back when a lorry speeds past. It pumps chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol into your body, shutting down overthinking so you can act instantly. It’s a brilliant survival tool—but when it dominates too much, it leaves us anxious, on edge, and stuck in loops of fear.
The Drive System: Our Motivator
The drive system pushes us to achieve, get things done, and keep moving forward. It’s what fuels the buzz of dopaminewhen you finish a course, buy something you’ve been saving for, or even sit down to a good meal.
When balanced, it gives energy and motivation. But out of balance, it can trap us in endless striving. Imagine working 14-hour days, constantly chasing results, while connection with family, friends, or even yourself drops away. The drive system unchecked can burn us out.
The Soothing System: Our Inner Regulator
The soothing system is all about connection and restoration. It’s where compassion lives. It releases oxytocin—sometimes called the “hug hormone”—and helps the body relax into “rest and digest.”
This system lets us recharge, feel safe, and connect with others. The trouble is, for many of us, the soothing system is underdeveloped compared to threat and drive. That’s when stress, anxiety, or relentless striving can take over.
When the Systems Get Out of Balance
Threat and drive often team up in unhelpful ways. For example: “I must work longer hours or I’ll lose everything.” The drive pushes harder, the threat shouts louder, and the soothing system gets left behind. This can create a vicious cycle of overwork, anxiety, and self-criticism.
How Compassion Focused Therapy Helps
CFT starts by recognising a simple truth: we all have a tricky brain. Human evolution gave us an incredible emotional system, but it’s also complex and easily knocked off balance.
In therapy, we map out your three systems. Most people arrive with a small soothing system and oversized threat and drive systems. The work is about activating and strengthening the soothing system, so it can regulate the others.
That means learning practical tools to rest, reconnect, and bring compassion into the mix. It’s not about erasing your inner critic or shutting down your drive—it’s about understanding, accepting, and rebalancing.
Why Choose CFT?
Many therapies focus heavily on goals and results. CFT has those too, but its foundation is acceptance:
Acceptance that life is tough for everyone.
Acceptance that we all have a tricky brain.
Acceptance that emotions—while sometimes overwhelming—are just part of being human.
From there, we can look at the inner critic not as an enemy to destroy, but as something to understand. That shift creates space, reduces inner battles, and builds genuine resilience.
Final Thoughts
Compassion Focused Therapy gives us a map of how our minds work and a set of tools to bring them back into balance. By strengthening the soothing system and learning to work with, not against, ourselves, we can move forward with more resilience and steadiness.
If you’re curious about how this might help you, let’s have a no-pressure chat. Text or WhatsApp me and we’ll take it from there.
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